We have an 1890s book of etiquette, which is somewhat in too-tattered condition for sale, but still readable and usable for office use. Some of the rules of behavior are polite, some are somewhat obscure. Here is a brief set of rules about conversation that might have been current when the early works of Sherlock Holmes were being penned:

Conversational Sins.

Never interrupt a person who is talking. Never take the words out of anyone’s mouth and finish the sentence for them. To do this is ill - bred and does not bespeak your superior discernment, but your ignorance of polite society.

Puns, unless exceptionally witty, are to he carefully avoided. Young ladies, especially, should beware of establishing any reputation for punning, At all events, puns should never be farfetched.

Do not whisper in company; nothing can be more vulgar. Neither should two in a gathering converse together in a foreign language, not understood by the others present, or talk blindly in a manner unintelligible only to themselves. Should, however, a distinguished foreigner to whom the language is almost unknown be among the guests, it is a mark of courtesy for as many as possible to converse in his native tongue.

Do not immediately break off the conversation upon persons entering the room. It is too apt to leave the impression upon their minds that the discourse was of them. In carrying on a conversation after newcomers enter the room, briefly recapitulate what has gone before, that the thread of the story may he complete for them. Look at those with whom you are talking, but never stare.

Profanity is the last and most inexcusable sin committed against good manners and propriety. The man who will deliberately use profane language in the drawing-room, or before women and children, or aged men, should be considered without the pale of good society.

We are not sure what a farfetched pun is, but since punning may be a dying art, if an art can be applied to low humor, we will have to do more research.

On the other hand, since we communicate most often in writing, we don't often whisper in the presence of others. We like the idea of being a person of superior discernment by not interrupting someone, but we see on television is that many shows actually encourage their guests to interrupt as a way of livening up what otherwise would be dull viewing. That may be because television is itself somewhat fragmentary a presentation, and that extraordinary means must be used to keep one's attention focused.

We don't often use profanity, but we are not sure what "without the pale of good society".

We have to go check the word pale.

<pause>

We see that the word pale was used in ancient times to originally designate a geographic boundary beyond which ordinary civilized behavior is not observed.The expression we have commonly heard is "beyond the pale", which means that the visitor has crossed the outer regional border, made of pickets or palum (Latin for stake) sort of like the Spanish word Palo, as in Palo Alto, tall pole or stake, so presumably "without the pale" is also an obsolete designation of being outside the boundary of acceptable language and behavior. And the part about "aged men" being disturbed by coarse speech is also somewhat reminiscent of a more genteel era.